


I Could Never Stand Not Being Closer

by pineapplesandcanopeners



Series: Stay [2]
Category: NCIS
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-06
Updated: 2015-04-06
Packaged: 2018-03-21 12:41:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 971
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3692700
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pineapplesandcanopeners/pseuds/pineapplesandcanopeners
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony knows why one night stands are supposed to stay that way. Tim does too. But that doesn't mean he cares.</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Could Never Stand Not Being Closer

Tony stood outside the bar for a good five minutes, staring at the door and wondering whether he should go inside. There was a buzz of music and conversation that he could hear from outside that didn’t match how he felt at all. And he was nervous. He didn’t like being nervous, whether he had a reason to be or not. But his reason was a pretty good one, honestly. He had spent time alone with McGee before, of course, but they hadn’t been alone off the clock since… that night. And then Tim had to go and ask him to meet him for drinks. 

He had wanted so badly to say no. He wanted to ignore what had happened, but ignoring it meant going back to the way things were. They were friends before so they needed to be friends again. So he agreed, and he made a promise to Tim that he would be there. And now he was here and he might as well follow through on that promise.

Tony took a deep breath and opened the door. The bar was busy, but he found Tim sitting in a booth with his back pressed against the wall. He had a kind of distant look in eyes, but smiled when Tony caught his eye and waved.

Tony went to sit across from him, but Tim nodded towards the empty space next to him, and shoved one of the glasses of beer towards him. “I thought this was going to be warm before you got here.”

Tony sat down, and picked up the glass. “What is it?”

“Your favorite.” Tim smiled.

Tony took a sip. He was right, of course. “They had it on tap?”

“That’s why I wanted to come here.”

“That’s the only reason?” Tony asked.

Tim sighed. “Look, I know things have been weird since…”

“Things have been fine.” Tony gave Tim one of his signature smiles, but it didn't feel real and he was sure he could tell.

Tim shook his head. “Tony, it’s just us, okay. You don’t have to lie.”

 “I’m not lying, Tim, and I’m not in denial either, okay? But we were friends before, and we’re friends now.” Tony took another sip of his beer, as if to make the point that he was done talking about this. He felt a small bit of foam clinging to his lip.

“Friends. Right.” Tim reached over and brushed the foam away. Tony closed his eyes at the feeling of Tim’s hand on his chin, and his thumb running over his lip, and a thousand memories from _that night_ came rushing back to him. 

“Tim. Please…” Tony tried to speak but he didn’t know what to say. He should tell him to stop but the part of him that didn’t want to be with Tim was so small he almost couldn’t find it anymore. Tim dropped his hand into Tony’s lap and pressed his palm against his thigh. “Tim, we can’t do this.”

“What’s one night, Tony?”

Tony put his hand on top of Tim’s but didn’t push it away like he meant to. “We already had our one night. This would be two nights, and that’s a whole different thing.”

Tim moved in closer. “Fine, one night, or two nights, it doesn’t matter. Maybe it should be every night.”

Tony groaned and pulled away. “Tim, you’re drunk.”

“No, I’m not,” Tim said resolutely, looking Tony right in the eye.

“How many of those did you have before I got here?” Tony nodded towards the beer. Tim made an “O” shape with his hands. “None? Really.”

“This is the first, Tony.”

“Fine, but you’re still not thinking rationally. We can’t. It wouldn’t work. Vance would never, and Gibbs would never ever…”

“Actually, I don’t think he’d care, Tony,” Tim interrupted.

“Are you forgetting Rule 12?” Tony asked.

Tim looked down at his hands, like he didn’t know what to do with them anymore. “Rule 12 has been broken before.”

“Look, McGee,” Tony started, waiting to finish until Tim looked him in the eye. “Do you know why partners aren’t supposed to date?”

Tim shrugged. “A million reasons, I’m sure. Bad breakups?” 

Tony picked up his beer again so he wouldn’t be tempted to grab Tim’s hands as he talked. “It’s because when you are with someone you start to worry about their safety as much as your own, or more. But this thing you care about so much, this person, they’re outside of your body so you can’t predict or control their movements. You get cautious. That’s how mistakes are made, and that’s how people get killed.”

“You’re right. God, of course you’re right.” Tony thought that was the end of it, that they would finish their drinks and silence and go back to their own homes, alone. But then Tim turned to him, and he wanted to look away but he couldn’t. “But, here’s the thing, Tony. I’m already worried about you. Constantly. Unbearably. And if, God forbid, something ever happened, I’d rather know that I spent as much time with you as possible than have to realize that I was so afraid of what might happen that I never did anything about it.”

“Shit.” That was the only thing Tony could make himself say before he put his hand behind Tim’s neck and pulled him in for a kiss. Tim’s mouth tasted faintly of beer, and Tony imagined his tasted the same. He grasped at the spot on Tim’s shirt where it buttoned up, and if they had been alone his fingers would have been fumbling to get each button undone. “Shit,” he said again as he pulled away, pressing his forehead against Tim’s. “Tim, this is so bad.”

“I know,” Tim said, almost in a whisper, “but this time I don’t care.


End file.
